My 16 Months As A Librarian...

...are over, and I'm glad.

I've always been the book worm.
The reader. And I am.
I love the escapism of it, and the stories. The connection between people.

For the past 16 months, I've been working as a page at the library.
Hahahahahahahahah I still laugh at how punny my job title was.
I was a page.
At the library.
Where books are.
Ha. Haha. Whew.... :)

What they should've called me was "Book-Shelving, Alphebetizing Doormat Slave-Laborer."
Much more accurate.

....I feel a list coming on.

The Observations of a Lowly Library Page

1. Ever basked in that new-book smell? Yeah, the library smells nothing like that. It has the odor of an elderly person and whatever you might find in said elderly person's Depends. 
2. It's easy to decipher between first-time library visitors, academic scholars, the loiterers who only come to use the computers, and the homeless people who walk in for the free coffee. Fun Fact: Three out of four of these categories are also highly likely to be pedophiles as well. Ponder that for a while. :)
3. NO ONE knows where the biographies are. No one. Well, I mean, I know. But the general public has no idea. Hint: They're in the back. Right behind the non-fiction. Right before the BOT and CD's. 
4. The library is always kept at around 70 degrees. 68 in the summer, 72 in the dead of winter. That's the range. 
5. After working a shift, expect to have the alphabet stuck in your head. I can now tell you at a moment's notice that P is right before Q. Isn't that kinda weird? I always thought Q was further down in the alphabet. But nope, it's the transition from the beginning to the end. Right before R..... pages have a lot of time to ponder these things. 
6. Most people act like the pages don't exist. I once eavesdropped on this guy talking to his ex-wife about his prison time. They also discussed whether he was the paternal father of her child. I was shelving right behind him! I also spied another guy taking pictures of some girls using the computers on his camera phone. What a creep! But he forgot to turn his sound off. So it made that loud clicking noise and it was hilarious. I was snickering behind my cart. Serves you right, perv. 
7. If you see a group of eight-year-old boys, you can bet they're there to hit up the coffee table. Those eight-year-olds are ADDICTED to that coffee. There's always a trail of sugar following behind them when they leave.
8. Knitting circles are HILARIOUS. Tuesdays, from 11:00 to noon. That's when they'd come in. In the summer, I'd always make sure to be there at 11:00 on Tuesdays. I love listening to their chatter. It entertains me. 
9. If someone is looking for help, they're more likely to come to a page than a librarian. Pages are nicer. They'll normally approach you in one of three ways: 
1. The skeptical approach. They'll shuffle up to you and say something like, "Um, do you work here?" and then seem relieved when you say yes. They also often have a list with them, which is helpful.
2. The downright shy approach. These people will normally hang around your cart for awhile. They might even pretend to shuffle through some of the books periodically. Then, if they happen to catch your eye, they'll quietly ask you a question. Sometimes you can barely get a sentence out and they'll say, "Oh, okay okay..." and hurry off to wherever you vaguely directed them. 
3. The bold/obnoxious approach. Most of these people will address you from behind and normally shout something like, "HEY, where are the BIOGRAPHIES? " I find it best to take the lead with these people and walk them to where they need to go. Or else they will just keep coming back. Again. And again. And again again. So on and so forth. 
10. When the librarian yells out, "The library will be closing in ten minutes," that's code for "GET OUT. NOW." Within thirty seconds, they will be swiftly turning off all of the computers and shooing you away. All the lights are off within two minutes. The doors are locked thirty seconds after that. I try to leave 10 minutes BEFORE the 10 minute warning, for fear of accidentally being trapped inside. 

Ahh, but guys, this is not a library-bashing blog.
I love libraries.
And I think this page job has been a good experience.
And for that, my dear librarians, I thank you. :)
Let's not look at this as a storybook ending, but more like a closed chapter, eh?
(Book puns. Yes.)

Sigh. This post is entirely un-inspired. Maybe I need to spend more time reading books instead of shelving them. :P

Next Stop>>> Kitchen Aid at the Hospital. And trust me, ya'll will be hearing all about it!

Well, I suppose I will leave you with these parting words:
"COMPUTER 2, YOUR TIME IS UP AND I HAVE SOMEONE WAITING."

Thanks guys.
And goodnight! :)

Love,
Bailey