Have I.. Actually ACCOMPLISHED Something?

Guys.
I did it.

I got my license! :)
I told myself that I wouldn't blog again until I got my license, because I wasn't gonna make one more post about me not getting my license. It just wasn't gonna happen.

So as you can see... it took awhile. I'm not gonna tell you how many times I had to take the test...
Nah, I think I'll just keep that lil' detail to myself.

But that's all in the past now.

CUZ I'M FREE AS A BIRD NOOOWWWWW! 

So, yeah, that's really all I had to say.
Hopefully I can get back into the swing of the blogosphere soon. :)

Love,
Bailey

How To Successfully Procrastinate

How To Successfully Procrastinate on Prezi

A  How-To video made for Computer Lit.
Procrastination is pretty much the only thing I know how to do. :)
Yaaaayyyyyy :)

Failure.

Reasons Why I Hate Failure

• It really gets in the way of success. 
• It makes you feel like scum. 
• Some doofus decided it's cool to yell out "FAIL." whenever something remotely amusing happens. Variations include: "Epic Fail", "Complete Fail" and the like. I don't go for stuff like that. It's obnoxious and unoriginal. For example, while all my friends are busy saying stuff is "legit", I persist that it's actually "bonafide." Sigh. 
• Etc. 

 If you put "etc." as a list option, does that count as a quote-on-quote "fail"?
Oh well.

If you haven't already guessed, I failed my driver's test for the third time. It was for something that was pretty little too, and something that I normally ALWAYS do, but forgot to do during the test. It's fine, I take full responsibility, but I'm just mad at myself.

I also think they judge you more harshly if you tell them you've taken the test before. For example, what I did:

DOT Lady: "Have you taken this test before?"
Me: *shakes head no*
DOT Lady: "...is this your second time?"
Me: *shakes head again*
DOT Lady: *pause* "...Well, third time's the charm, right?"
Me: *gulp* "Uh-huh.."

I think I'm gonna lie next time. Do you think I'll get Karma points off for that? Hm. I'll ponder it.

My mom always says, "Just do your best and that's all you can do."
But my best isn't good enough!
They've already proven that.
Three times over.

I feel like Spongebob.
So much so that when I got into the car and the Examiner told me to turn the ignition, I felt like yelling, "Floor it? FLOOR IT!"

Maybe it's time to change my motto: "If at first you don't succeed, cry and eat chocolate."
Anyway. I'm going back tomorrow.
Wish me luck! :)

Love,
Bailey

P.S.  ----------------->

Snowy, Sleepy Sunday

Yes, more alliteration! What else can you expect from someone whose name is a mass of  B's? :)

Our first snowfall of the season arrived here in Iowa on Saturday.
I kinda loved it.
Now, I hesitate to say that, because last year was the worst winter of my life. We were the victims of a massive ice storm that blew out our power (pretty much our whole county's power) for four days. Some people's were out for longer. We had ten snow days and actually had to tack on an extra half-hour to our school days for the rest of the year just to keep from being in school until June.

Some of you in your own corners of the world may not believe this, but we reverted to prehistoric times around here. My family and I just sat in the dark. I would huddle in my sleeping bag and stare at them, guardedly eating my high-carb granola bar. Flashlights were sacred. Hot water was a rarity. Poptarts ceased to exist. 

Oh! Here's a journal entry I wrote right after the ice storm last year:

***Bailey's Guide for Winter Safety***

1. Because of low winter temperatures, ice is a common substance to be found. When stepping on a patch of ice, the wrong thing to do would be to thrust your weight forward, causing your foot to slip, and then having a mini-seizure while your snoopy neighbors laugh at you from their front window. No. I do not suggest that. I DO suggest, however, moon-walking on the ice and then sliding off the ice patch all studly and such. See that, nosy neighbors? That's right. I don't walk around the ice like a pansy. I DANCE on the ice. I am the ice's MASTER! Take that!

2. If you do happen to lose power, immediately wrap yourself in every piece of clothing you own and sit in your living room singing, "I'm a little Eskimo, I make my bed within the snow..." for entertainment. It works. I speak from experience.

3. In the aftermath of an ice storm, you may often hear a loud cracking or "BANG!" noise that may resemble gunfire. Do not be alarmed. This most likely is the sound of a tree splitting in half or losing a branch from the weight of the ice. BUT just to be safe, I suggest you immediately drop to the floor and yell, "TAKE THE MONEY, BUT DON'T HURT THE CHILDREN!!!" For safety precautions.

4. And finally, if a man comes to your door claiming that he is part of a tree-trimming and cleaning service, be careful! Especially if he doesn't have a yellow permit, he has a name tag that says "Hello, my name is... TREE GUY," and you heard him telling his partner to keep the truck running. If a man like this approaches your house, I'd suggest taking one of the fallen limbs in your yard, hitting him over the head with it, and then spitting on his unconscious body. It is the safest way to be sure he's not an extortionist.



....as  you can tell, I was delusional.


 BUT. I digress.
The snow is beautiful here today. I love how it makes the sky bloom with white.

Here's to the start of a hopefully non-threatening winter! :)

Love,
Bailey

P.S. My mother informs me that my grammar is wrong in my header. So, new debate. Should it be "Iowan student" or "Iowa student"? Leave a comment with your opinion, if you even have an opinion on this trivial subject.
...I think "Iowan student" sounds just fine. Plus, I spent three hours making that fricking header.
Grammar shmammar. :)

My 16 Months As A Librarian...

...are over, and I'm glad.

I've always been the book worm.
The reader. And I am.
I love the escapism of it, and the stories. The connection between people.

For the past 16 months, I've been working as a page at the library.
Hahahahahahahahah I still laugh at how punny my job title was.
I was a page.
At the library.
Where books are.
Ha. Haha. Whew.... :)

What they should've called me was "Book-Shelving, Alphebetizing Doormat Slave-Laborer."
Much more accurate.

....I feel a list coming on.

The Observations of a Lowly Library Page

1. Ever basked in that new-book smell? Yeah, the library smells nothing like that. It has the odor of an elderly person and whatever you might find in said elderly person's Depends. 
2. It's easy to decipher between first-time library visitors, academic scholars, the loiterers who only come to use the computers, and the homeless people who walk in for the free coffee. Fun Fact: Three out of four of these categories are also highly likely to be pedophiles as well. Ponder that for a while. :)
3. NO ONE knows where the biographies are. No one. Well, I mean, I know. But the general public has no idea. Hint: They're in the back. Right behind the non-fiction. Right before the BOT and CD's. 
4. The library is always kept at around 70 degrees. 68 in the summer, 72 in the dead of winter. That's the range. 
5. After working a shift, expect to have the alphabet stuck in your head. I can now tell you at a moment's notice that P is right before Q. Isn't that kinda weird? I always thought Q was further down in the alphabet. But nope, it's the transition from the beginning to the end. Right before R..... pages have a lot of time to ponder these things. 
6. Most people act like the pages don't exist. I once eavesdropped on this guy talking to his ex-wife about his prison time. They also discussed whether he was the paternal father of her child. I was shelving right behind him! I also spied another guy taking pictures of some girls using the computers on his camera phone. What a creep! But he forgot to turn his sound off. So it made that loud clicking noise and it was hilarious. I was snickering behind my cart. Serves you right, perv. 
7. If you see a group of eight-year-old boys, you can bet they're there to hit up the coffee table. Those eight-year-olds are ADDICTED to that coffee. There's always a trail of sugar following behind them when they leave.
8. Knitting circles are HILARIOUS. Tuesdays, from 11:00 to noon. That's when they'd come in. In the summer, I'd always make sure to be there at 11:00 on Tuesdays. I love listening to their chatter. It entertains me. 
9. If someone is looking for help, they're more likely to come to a page than a librarian. Pages are nicer. They'll normally approach you in one of three ways: 
1. The skeptical approach. They'll shuffle up to you and say something like, "Um, do you work here?" and then seem relieved when you say yes. They also often have a list with them, which is helpful.
2. The downright shy approach. These people will normally hang around your cart for awhile. They might even pretend to shuffle through some of the books periodically. Then, if they happen to catch your eye, they'll quietly ask you a question. Sometimes you can barely get a sentence out and they'll say, "Oh, okay okay..." and hurry off to wherever you vaguely directed them. 
3. The bold/obnoxious approach. Most of these people will address you from behind and normally shout something like, "HEY, where are the BIOGRAPHIES? " I find it best to take the lead with these people and walk them to where they need to go. Or else they will just keep coming back. Again. And again. And again again. So on and so forth. 
10. When the librarian yells out, "The library will be closing in ten minutes," that's code for "GET OUT. NOW." Within thirty seconds, they will be swiftly turning off all of the computers and shooing you away. All the lights are off within two minutes. The doors are locked thirty seconds after that. I try to leave 10 minutes BEFORE the 10 minute warning, for fear of accidentally being trapped inside. 

Ahh, but guys, this is not a library-bashing blog.
I love libraries.
And I think this page job has been a good experience.
And for that, my dear librarians, I thank you. :)
Let's not look at this as a storybook ending, but more like a closed chapter, eh?
(Book puns. Yes.)

Sigh. This post is entirely un-inspired. Maybe I need to spend more time reading books instead of shelving them. :P

Next Stop>>> Kitchen Aid at the Hospital. And trust me, ya'll will be hearing all about it!

Well, I suppose I will leave you with these parting words:
"COMPUTER 2, YOUR TIME IS UP AND I HAVE SOMEONE WAITING."

Thanks guys.
And goodnight! :)

Love,
Bailey

Pepper and Procrastination

Today's entry is brought to you by the letter P.

I am perpetually in a state of procrastination, preparing to not prepare for the precarious problems of my educational pilgramage and the palisades of life. Plus, I have plundered upon a profound perception pertaining to pepper.

Translation: I just had an awesome idea. And I don't want to do my American History homework.

So my little brother, Devin, was actually being sweet for a moment and decided to make popcorn (Ooh, another p!). The drawback: the little weirdo likes to pepper (verb) his popcorn with pepper (noun).

So of course I scarfed it down, because I love popcorn and I am, in fact, a pig (that makes 18).
I also have a cold, so I've grown accustomed to not breathing. Much to my surprise, after I scarfed down the peppery popcorn, I could breathe! My sinuses were singing like an "Allelujah!" chorus.

Long Story Short: I am going to make a cold medicine with the main ingredient being pepper and cure the world of mucus and become a millionaire.
SCREW YOU, TYLENOL! :)

Okay, okay, so it's not that great of an idea. It's not even particularly (22) clever.
But these are the things that go on in my brain. And my mind. And my head, too. ( School Of Rock quote, ya'll.)


So, I guess this post is pretty pointless (25).
And poppycock. And.... persnickety.
Pip Pip! Cheerio!

Partially,
Bailey

P.S. At this moment, we're watching Harry POTTER. Whoo, boy. :) That totals to 31 P's.
... I need to get a life. :)

College. Col-I'm Gonna Jump Off A-Lege.

Research colleges?
Really, Computer Lit?
We gotta research colleges?
I don't even know what I'm having for supper!
I don't even know what I'm having FOR LUNCH!
Because it sure as heck isn't gonna be the "mandarin teryaki chicken" we're supposed to have today.

I don't have a crystal ball, and I can't see into the future.
BUT, if I had to pick a college RIGHT NOW, it'd be UNI ---> http://www.uni.edu/
It kind of runs in my family. My dad went to UNI, my mom went to UNI, and I think I have two cousins who went there...
Anyway, I want to be an English teacher, and my mom says that UNI has an awesome education program.

But who knows?
Maybe I'll move far away.
That scares me.

...Maybe  I'll stay close to home.
That scares me too.

All I know is that there's a lot of perpetual fear going on here.

I guess it's just inconceivable to me right now, what with my life pretty much being up in the air.
I'm waiting to either soar...
Or drop like a rock.

P.S. Do you guys like my title? It's punny. :)

Well, I guess that's all for now.
If you don't hear back from me, I died from that "teryaki."

Love,
Bailey